Monday, April 09, 2007Here i am, blogging again, had a rough wk, nw me and my father are nt in talking terms, we cant even face each other..... guess i deserved it.... I even heard him mentioning to my mum, saying he doesn't even care whther i and my bro are his sons or nt..... It was a misunderstanding, i had a breakdown, and instead of crying, it wasn't a breakdown, it was more of an outburst, i lashed out at my mum...no, there was no physical contact, bt alot of shoutin here and there, and it happened at 1am..... my father was angry caused i raised my voice, and i was angry from him getting involved, and i guess, he had every right to... i almost had a fight, and fight as in physically fight with him, if not for my mum holding me back.... At tat moment, it was as if, i was the devil, it was as if, the devil suddenly took control of my body, every i said and do, and nt my intention......it was just coming out of my mouth.... i even threaten to go away and nvr to come back to my house again.... i went down my block, feeling nothin but fury and anger.... hatred towards something but i dont know wat it was.... every thing i saw seems nt rite.... Few hours haf pass, my guys, jai and sham, and also my bro, talk to me, and calmness start to fill my mind back.... i start to feel differently, i feel regret, i feel disappointed..... if only i could turn back time..... i went back home after a nite full of remorse and much thinking..... their advice was tat i go home, haf a good rest and think bout it again, try apologising.... Bt i like i said once, and i will say it again, no matter wat the situation is, 'Sorry Seems To Be The HArdest Word'...... Guess i haf to live life like it is and hope things will turn out better, even it is just small, i will apreciate it alot...... PS: As for my previous post, abt breaking girls' hearts, i hate the feelin, or even doin it and i dont think its something to be proud of.....
